Funeral
Image by Nick M. W.
By Nick M. W. and Emmitt Smith
The top six teams are set for the playoffs; the consolation bracket is locked, meaning the end for the rest of them.
Just like that, with the swiftness of a guillotine, the final playoff hopes and dreams of two teams died last week. Farewell to our esteemed Rudy’s Replacements and to the Penthouse Pimps. The consolation playoffs await. Good luck getting that extra keeper.
A name change is likely in store for perennial winner Cebert Frogs, who finds himself in unfamiliar territory. That’s not yet guaranteed, though, not with a week’s worth of football still left. Playoff seeding is up for grabs for the final six, and the matchups always matter.
Every week has been a nail-biting thriller, and I’m sure a thousand other fantasy football players can relate. Andy Williams might think it’s the most wonderful time of year, but this time of year causes heartbreak for all but one fantasy football team. Week 14 is shaping up to be yet another butt-clenching yell fest, and the only way out of it is through it.
Reactions to Week 13:
Nick: I thought it would be a closer outcome, but The Curse didn’t really show up. He made some uncharacteristically poor roster decisions that benefited Rebel Scum. Kenneth Walker’s injury only made it worse.
On our end, Tony Pollard (my 6th round pick!) and Geno Smith had big performances; they carried the squad and pushed the score up high enough to have a good night’s rest Sunday night.
I flip-flopped between Geno and Justin Fields Sunday morning when I heard Fields was going to play, and I’m glad I didn’t mess that one up. Fields jumped to a fast start against the Packers in the first half, and I started to get the sweats. I pictured him doubling his score and making me look stupid for leaving him on the bench, again, when he drops 50 points. Geno came through like I thought he would (call the crib. same number, same hood. it’s all good.).
Emmitt: Yeah, I saw The Sugandese won, so it was a bit easier to accept, but I just don’t have enough. Justin Herbert just doesn’t produce enough, Alvin Kamara is at the mercy of the Saints dysfunction, my receivers have lame ass quarterbacks, and I still had a chance to win. Yeah, this part of the year sucks for House of Rudy.
Rudy, you definitely had some folks pulling for you to do the impossible, rise from the dead, and make the playoffs on some sort of apocalyptic run of wins. I think you would have been dangerous in the tourney.
Looking back on the last 13 weeks, what’s one key moment for your squad that you think marked the turning point for the Replacements?
Emmitt: I don’t believe I had a turning spot. I had a devastating loss to FU Pay Me and spent 13 weeks climbing. Too many close games. Yeah, I had to skate uphill on ice all season, so now I got to concentrate on getting that extra pick and smile for the holidays I suppose.
Scum, that’s 9 in a row. What’s the vibe like in your locker room?
Nick: Rebel Scum is focused on securing a first round bye. A win for us this week will do just that, but it’s not going to be easy. The squad is already down a few weapons.
Dudes are over here building sweat equity with the Fantasy Gods. We honor them with our grind.
Alrighty.
You dropped A-Rod for Raheem Mostert. Why? This feels like some Twilight Zone shit.
Nick: That’s a casualty of some tough roster choices I have to make this week because I’m missing guys that I either can’t or don’t want to cut. 4 dudes are on byes this week, and 3 of them are on my “no-cut” list. The other dude was A-Rod. I liked Mostert as my best option for a FLEX this week, and that’s it.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Mike Williams is healthy enough to play.
Emmitt: Yeah for you to have double digit wins without Kupp and Williams injuries is clutch. Plus, the “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Immunized” rollercoaster with A-Aron Rodgers would have probably broken me, but you definitely held it together.
In our league the last place team gets their name and avatar changed for the next year and can’t be altered. Do you have an idea as to who is coming in last in our league?
Emmitt: I think Cebert might be looking at that last place slot this year. It just hasn’t been clicking for the 4-time champion. (Forrest Gump voice) “That’s all I gotta say about that.”
Nick: I think you’re right, and I’m sure there are going to be a lot of profane and vulgar suggestions.
Emmitt: All I know is that I am glad I’m not coming in last and the names are gonna be personal and brutal! If it’s anything like our group texts for the last 15 years, man I’m cool bruh.
Week 14 Predictions:
Emmitt: Rudy’s Replacements will finish the season strong with a win and gain some momentum going into the consolation playoffs.
Nick: Rebel Scum is going to get some revenge for the Week 3 loss to T. Ruth. Jamon got me pretty good that week (121 - 97), so I’m going to return the favor this week. I need some big games from a few dudes, but Rebel Scum is taking a 10-game winning streak into the playoffs and enjoy the bye-week breather in Round 1 of the 2022 AGS Playoffs.
That’s my target.
