In Utero: 30th Anniversary
In Utero (DGC, 1993).
Nirvana’s best album—the raw and stripped down In Utero—found its way into my heart by chance.
The Discovery
It was sometime in August 1994 that my parents finally caught up with 1980s technology and bought the family's first compact disc player—a fancy five disc CD changer with stacked adjustable controls, with a tape player and a record player on top. Two large speakers christened each side of the stereo monstrosity.
Along with this staple of middle class success, my parents also did what was a popular trend at the time. They ordered their first batch of CDs off of the BMG ads. For those of you who remember these ads, they had the little sheets of paper that would come in the mail with tiny stamp-like stickers of timeless and recently popular albums.
To get an idea of my musical upbringing, my parents picked their first six CDs (For the cost of a one cent), and not long after, the CDs arrived in the mail. Those first six my parents ordered were AC/DC Live, Bon Jovi's Greatest Hits, Wynona Judd, George Strait, 4 Non Blondes, and Nirvana’s In Utero.
From my bedroom I heard for the first time In Utero, and my life would never be the same.
Immediate Impact
The first song that caught my attention was “All Apologies” . It interested me enough, and I wandered over to where the stereo was and began listening more intently. I remember thinking there was a combination of sincerity, sadness, and sarcasm all behind a hypnotic riff and melody. I immediately wanted to hear it again.
I remember listening to the album multiple times daily over the next few weeks. Dissecting the lyric booklet and falling in love with Kurt Cobain's bizarre guitar methods, Krist Novoselic's droning bass, and Dave Grohl's power drumming style that fit so perfectly together. Kurt's voice felt married to the distortion of his guitar tone. Nirvana was like nothing I had heard before, and nothing I've heard since.
It became routine for me to come home from school, throw my backpack in my room, and sit next to the stereo for most of the evening. Nirvana was the band who made me pay actual attention to specific instrumentation.
The Album
Recorded in February 1993, over the course of 14 days, In Utero would be released later that year on September 21st. It was the third and final studio album that the band would put out before Kurt Cobain's suicide in April of 1994. Kurt considered In Utero to be the album closest to the sound he’d always wanted to create.
Kurt intentionally sought out producer Steve Albini due to being a fan of Albini’s previous production work on The Pixies album Surfer Rosa and The Breeders album Pod. Searching for a more stripped down, raw sound, rather than continue with the cleaned up, over produced sound of Nevermind, Nirvana was doing what some considered to be purposely sabotaging their popularity.
Despite lower sales than Nevermind, In Utero still carved out a unique spot in rock history. Starting the album off with “Serve the Servants”, I remember having the opinion that Kurt was complaining about the media's heavy pursuit in uncovering every stone in trying to find out any and all dirt about his past.
The screamfest “Scentless Apprentice”, follows up the opener. This track is a sort of ode to the novel Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, by Patrick Suskind. I still have memories of one of my best friends in high school, who was normally shy and reserved, but for some reason loved screaming along with this track when we’d drive around town. Much love to you Joshua Buck.
The biggest mainstream hit off the album, “Heart Shaped Box,” is supposedly about Kurt’s wife Courtney Love. The music video wound up being controversial due to its imagery of fetuses and a young girl in a Ku Klux Klan outfit.
The most controversial track on the album “Rape Me” is easily one of my favorites. “The song always felt like it spawned from a mutated version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.
Next up is another favorite of mine off the album “Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle”. The title is a reference to Seattle native and former actress Frances Farmer, whose career was cut short after her family had her committed involuntarily to a psychiatric hospital where she experienced physical and mental abuse.
The first half of the album ends with “Dumb”, a song about drug use, and one of the softer tracks off the album.
Where the second half of most albums taper off and have more filler songs, In Utero picks its energy up again with the almost punk rock sounding “Very Ape”.
“Milk It” was such a unique song for me to hear in my youth as for how much noodling and randomness is thrown around during the verses only to come back to a very heavy chorus.
“Pennyroyal Tea” was the final single from In Utero, it always felt like In Utero’s version of “Polly”.
“Radio Friendly Unit Shifter”, which has arguably been my favorite track in recent years comes in next at track ten. I think it is the only other song which might have been a better album opener than “Serve the Servants”. Kurt's guitar scratching over the melody just elicits a good sort of anxiety that is hard for me to explain, like the kind of anxiety that makes you want to climb trees.
“Tourettes”, feels like if “Scentless Apprentice” and “Very Ape” had a premature love child not yet able to properly speak.
Ending the record with “All Apologies” feels almost haunting after knowing what would happen to Kurt a little over six months later. It's also personally strange for me that the song that hooked me into having interest in the band would be the last song off of the band's final studio album.
I often wonder where my life would have gone music taste wise if not for my parents and their BMG selection of Nirvana’s In Utero. It would be a few weeks later that my parents would do BMG’s “buy five CDs twelve for free" deal, where the illustrious “Nevermind” album would first hit my ears.
But that story is for another day.
